the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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