And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
