is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
