If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
