your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
