the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
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Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
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I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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