I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
