Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
