She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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