how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
