I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
