If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
