i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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