Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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