? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
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