my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
