The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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