She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
