Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
