Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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