"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
