We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
