i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
