I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
