She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize