So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
