If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
