It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
