Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
