somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
