my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
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Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
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I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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