I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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