She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
