Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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