If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
