Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
