i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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