he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
