Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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