When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
