the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
How does one acquire holy water?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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