i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
