You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
