Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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