this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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