that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
