It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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