It's Friday. Sex?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
