kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
