I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
