Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
