i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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