He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
