we're blogging at a bar
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
