Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
