i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
