....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i think i have two assholes
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
