i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
