Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
