...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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