New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize