My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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