I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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