there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
