I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
