So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
When are your genitals available?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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