My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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